


Who can you talk to if not yourself?

by serendipityxxi



Category: Haven (TV)
Genre: F/M, M/M, Mother's Day, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-07
Updated: 2016-05-07
Packaged: 2018-06-06 23:42:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,704
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6774988
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/serendipityxxi/pseuds/serendipityxxi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Audrey Parker shares her mother's memory with the one person who'd understand perfectly.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Who can you talk to if not yourself?

It’s late when Audrey leaves the Haven P.D., after midnight and the world is dark and cold. When she left the house this morning it was spring, definitely, spring. The weather was in the high sixties, sunny and warm. Sometime after dark though winter had crept back in with sneaky cold little fingers that trail up the back of Audrey’s neck and make her shiver. She isn’t dressed for this. The wind cuts right through the light jacket she put on this morning when it was Spring. When she gets into her car the slam of the door is so loud in the empty car park it feels like it should wake the whole world up. Once, it might have. Once she might have worried that this weather was unnatural. Now she gets the heater running and pulls out of the parking lot without a thought for Marion Caldwell. The Troubles are over.

The drive home is unremarkable tonight. The road does not open up and try to swallow her car. The sky is cloudless and cold. The moon hangs serene and full over the bay she passes. The waves are dark and calm, rippling silver and blue. There is no butterfly, nor any unseen presence taking control of the gas or brake pedals. The cliffs still brood, the waves still tumble, the few lights still on in Haven shimmer copper and gold against the blue-black dark. But the guardrail is intact. No Troubled person is down there killing others in her plea for help. The Troubles are over.

It has been months since Audrey has left the station this late but she had a phone call to make tonight and she needed space to make it. She loves Duke and Nathan, shares so many different sides of herself with them, they have brought out so many different aspects of herself, some she wasn’t even aware of (both literally and figuratively she supposes with a wry grin). But for this there was only one person she knew who could understand just who she needed to talk about.

She’d waited til almost everyone had gone home, only a handful of cops at work quietly in the bullpen. Then she’d locked her office door and sat on the ground in front of the old leather couch, knees drawn up in front of her. Her hand had been steady as she dialled the number but she’d hesitated and hung up twice before she’d gotten the nerve to let the call go through.

Audrey Parker of Boston, Audrey Prime as she considered herself in terms of Haven things, had picked up on the second ring. It wasn’t the first time Audrey Parker of Haven had called since the Troubles were over. Audrey Prime had called them the day the Troubles ended to announce she had her memories back and what the hell had they been doing in the meantime? Audrey had given her a brief rundown and had promised more details later. She knew the other woman had been curious but a lot of it had been all too fresh to go into. They’d spoken more than a few times since. It was… nice, they were friends… which was odd, but what else do you do about a person who shares all your memories and quirks?

Tonight…tonight Audrey had wanted to share this with someone who would understand.

“It’s me,” Audrey had said when Audrey Prime answered and she could feel the other woman roll her eyes.

“I never would have known since I don’t have caller ID,” Audrey Prime had teased.

Audrey had huffed a laugh then dove right into the reason she’d called before she could back out or get sidetracked.

“So y’know how I told you I met my mother?” Audrey had asked as if the other woman could have forgotten. “Do you maybe want to hear about her?”

Audrey Prime had drawn in an audible breath down the line and when she answered her voice had been hushed, reverent as she asked for an answer that had plagued her throughout her life.

“What was she like?”

Audrey Parker of Haven had hesitated on her end of the phone. She’d felt fresh tears spark at the other Audrey’s words. She knew the longing the other woman felt and while she had called to tell her about Charlotte now that the topic had been broached Audrey felt greedy, as if she needed to hoard what she knew of her mother. Still, something in her wanted to speak the words and she knew what it meant to the other woman to be able to hear them.

“She was brave,” Audrey had begun haltingly, playing over the wishes they both remembered from a childhood they’d both tried hard to forget. “And beautiful. She had dark hair, like you,” Audrey had hiccupped over the words, her hand had gone to the ends of her blonde locks. “She… she wasn’t always kind,” she’d confessed, had felt guilty but had also wanted to give the other woman the truth. “She was practical,” Audrey had given a wet laugh, “like we are,” she’d continued. Audrey Prime had laughed too.

“She was smart and in the end she…” Audrey hadn’t been able to keep back the sob here, felt it claw its way up her throat as she struggled with the next words, “she wanted to help everybody just like we dreamed she would.”

“But not in a big yellow school bus,” Audrey Prime had teased gently and Audrey’s laugh had been stronger that time.

“No, not with a big yellow school bus but an old brown barn.”

“The barn?” Audrey Prime’s voice had been full of recognition and fear. “What happened?”

“It’s a long story,” Audrey had told her, “Are you sure you want to hear it? Don’t have to go have dinner with Brad?” she teased.

Audrey Prime had laughed at that. “Nope. What about you? No plans with Nathan and Duke?” she’d lobbed right back.

Audrey had grinned and settled her shoulders against the sturdy base of the couch. “The boys are amusing themselves for a while.” She had paused to let Audrey Prime’s rich laughter flow over her ears, grateful that this woman understood and never questioned that she could love both men equally and be content that they loved each other as well. “I’ve got time to tell it if you want to hear it.”

“Tell me about your mother, Audrey,” Audrey Prime had requested, giving those words the proper weight and reverence they deserved.

They’d talked, for hours, Audrey’s voice was rough with tears and overuse by the time they’d hung up the phone. But she felt lighter somehow, better, that someone else understood what Charlotte had been to her.

Now as she makes the turn onto their street she just feels raw and a little wrung out. She parks and is too tired to do anything but trudge toward the house though the chill wind does its best to hurry her footsteps. She tucks her fingers in her armpits but she’s still shaking by the time she makes it to the front door. Her chilled fingers fumble the key once, twice before it slides into the lock and she’s able to turn the knob. A wave of warmth hits her when she opens the door and Audrey’s knees feel weak with relief.

She can see a note pinned to the freezer door in Duke’s handwriting that her dinner is in the fridge if she wants it. She doesn’t. There’s only one thing she wants right now. Well, two. She closes and locks the door, hops a little to get out of her boots and pads down the hall in socked feet.

She finds the bedroom door open and in the triangle of dim orange light from the hallway she can see her boys, twined together on the mattress. It’d be easy to miss them under the piles of blankets Duke insists on sleeping under so he doesn’t have to wear clothes to bed.

Her heart is full as her eyes trace their familiar forms. Duke has a book facedown on his chest, Nathan’s phone is on the bed next to his open hand. It’s clear they tried to wait up for her even though she’d told them not to. She knew they would anyway. It’s hard for her to sleep when one of them isn’t there too.

She must make a noise when she steps over the threshold because Duke’s eyes sweep open. When he realizes it’s her he gives her the softest unguarded smile and Audrey feels her heart turn over in her chest, amazed and scared and pleased all over again every time that Duke feels safe enough to expose that sweet heart he keeps buried under all that bluster.

“Hey you,” he rumbles out, shifting and stretching out a hand to her.

Audrey smiles and takes it. She sits on the side of the bed, next to his hip and runs her free hand through the sleep-mussed brown locks. “Hi,” she says quietly.

Nathan blinks awake muzzily next to Duke. “Parker,” he says, and Audrey knows she is home. “Time is it?” he asks, voice full of gravel.

“Late,” Audrey replies, with a glance for the moon peeping in the window behind her.

“Come to bed,” Duke says.

And before Audrey knows it she’s been pulled down between them coat and all, blankets and boys wrapped all around her. She’s giddy from their warmth for a long moment, amazed and almost disbelieving that she gets this, this is hers, this is her life now. She’s lost so many things but she’s gained so much. Duke spoons around her, throwing off heat like a furnace against her back and buries his nose in her cold hair. Nathan brings her hands to his lips and blows hot air over them. Eventually all of Audrey’s layers are shed, tossed from the bed as she warms up.

When the bright spring sun slips into their bedroom Audrey is still sound asleep, warm and safe and wrapped up in a life she never thought she’d be lucky enough to get to live.

The Troubles are over.


End file.
